Teach your Child to Create Happiness

"What makes you happy?" Have you ever thought of this? Nothing can make you happy unless you have already decided it to be the crux of your happiness. Take children from small villages who live in what most Americans would consider a hovel, and often they will be displaying smiles, despite the conditions. Are they truly happy?

This year, our family is struggling even more than years in the past, but we had our holiday early. Because of being financially disabled, each of us purchased one gift for each other, meaning we each received two gifts because there are three of us. My ten-year-old took his kid sister ice-skating for the first time, and she fell in love with the sport. This "gift" has changed her life forever, because now all she talks about is ice-skating.

My first-grade daughter earned what is referred to as "behavior points" at school, over a period, to earn a large T-shirt for me. While I could have given her money to purchase a gift for me, the shirt means so much more to both she and me than a trip to the store could have produced.

You see, it isn't the wrapping of the package, as much as its delivery. It isn't what's inside the box, as much as the effort to get it there. Don't misunderstand, there will always be that one toy a kid receives to show off to their friends. But I can guarantee, the gift will be no more loved than a positive life-altering experience that allows them to create their own happiness.

According to my children, this is the best Christmas ever, and I agree. It's also the most enlightening.

Photo: India Children, harrybeckkolhoff@ymail.com, Yahoo Inc., 2012

Teach your Child about a Family Christmas

Have you been naughty or nice? Are you going to get what is on your Christmas list? This year is different for most of us, as money is tighter than other years. Most children don't understand the stress of burdened incomes when it comes to Christmas. So what can we do as parents to bring the family closer together and make this year even more memorable than the other, high cost, years?

"Be together!" No, not sit together and watch Christmas programs, although that is fun sometimes. But do something you haven't done before. After all, different just means we put a new spin on excitement! For example, at our house this year we decided together the Christmas words that are special to us and created a "wordle" to hang on the wall by our door, as a reminder of what Christmas means to us. The more times you put a word in, the bigger it is and there are many arrangements and colors you can use to make your own.

Another activity that we did was create snowflakes out of paper to hang around the ceiling in the living room. My six-year-old had never made snowflakes before and it was a learning experience that we enjoyed. Plus, in addition to the conversation we had as a family, we will have a memory the whole season long of working together to create something beautiful!

The night before we open our gifts, we will sit and drink hot chocolate and recant all of the positive stories we have participated in, not to brag, but to remind us of our ability to give and share with others. We will read Jack Canfield's "Chicken Soup for the Soul," and I will proudly wear the shirt my six-year-old earned with saved up behavior points at school. I can already feel the wide smile on my face. Our family will be giving each other one singular gift, but I guarantee this will be our best Christmas ever!

Do you have any ideas of creative ways to celebrate Christmas or any new traditions you care to share? Is it possible to have a close holiday without spending a lot of money? What are some "no cost" ideas you have to celebrate?

Teach your Child to Think by Example

"Do as I say and not as I do!" Is this familiar? How many times do we see people do things while they demand something different? A terrific example of this is Kevin Clash who is under scrutiny after allegations of seducing four teenage boys. The reason this story is so shocking is because he has children of his own, as seen on "Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey" (Netflix, 2012) and has portrayed Sesame Street's Elmo for 28 years before resigning last month. (Fox News, 2012) Imagine the impact on children when they eventually hear of this information of a child predator being someone they idolize.

Many of our parents were famous for doing what they tell us is harmful, as well as the reason, "Because I said so." The cold harsh reality is that even without words, our children pick up on more of what we do and say than we realize. This came to my attention when my first-grader approached me yesterday with what she refers to as an "opportunity for me to allow her to purchase candy from school." Why is this an opportunity for me? Obviously she has picked up on certain skills in listening to me speak, while I motivate my children's actions with phrases such as this.

One of my personal idols, Martin Scorsese says, "If one wants to reach younger people at an earlier age to shape their minds in a critical way, you really need to know how ideas and emotions are expressed visually." He's correct, you know. Children will copy someone 80% of the time, if they feel it will get them what they want, despite throwing words at them to do otherwise. Concerning this, actions certainly do speak a lot louder than words. Showing by example is by the far the most impacting method to teaching.