Teach your Child to Think, Love, and Live by Focusing

Many times, we deal with frustration when we see our children picking-up on our own behaviors; behaviors we are not fond of, whether it be cleaning up after ourselves, or getting along with others. We can wipe all of these undesirable deeds from the slate with practice. The issue is which traits do we honestly wish to remove?

The first step of commitment to this is finding ten minutes in the morning (upon rising) and ten minutes at night (just before bed). Designate these few scarce minutes as important and unable to detour, because this is a serious goal. Each morning take out your notebook, that is kept beside the bed, and write four words across the top: Work, Money, Relationships, Myself. Under each word write a short one or two word description of the accomplishment to work on and put it where you will see it at least five times a day. Some examples may include in your car so you see it several times on the way to work, and several times on the way home (at traffic lights, of course!) or perhaps on your desk so that your eyes may wander over it throughout the day. The thing to remember is that our subconscious brains are working without much coaxing. Your brain will see the information and file it without any effort whatsoever, as long as the material is evident.

The first day, work on each of the items on the list and evaluate it at the end of the day, before going to sleep. The following morning, decide which tasks are complete and which need more attention. Disregard the tasks that are complete by placing a line through them, and list a new task for today. If a goal is unable to complete, decide why you were unable to fulfill the deed and allow it to remain on the list for another day. At first, this may seem burdensome, but after doing this for several days, the task will become so identifiable that it's no longer a task, but an aid.

When we have more control of our own surroundings, our children not only see a good example before them, but the impulses of the adult behavior have a more prominent affect. In being able to witness, firsthand, the consequences of said behavior, the child will then follow suit. We are no strangers to hearing about how taking a deep breath and counting to ten (or sometimes twenty) can soothe a savage beast. But is simply knowing enough? Challenging ourselves to do what we know is correct is… well, --smart! Remember, a child is always watching… a child is always learning. What they learn is a parent's responsibility, whenever possible, because they will always remember.